Hell Hath No Fury
by VampireHunterDragoon
Summary: Tenchi becomes sick and it is Ryoko who is determined to nurse him back to health. Revenge, brief cross-overs, and H.P. Lovecraft rip-offs ensue. I can assure you, this is not your typical TR story.
1. Chapter 1

**Notice:** I do not own anything that involves Tenchi Muyo, whether it be the animes, mangas, movies, video games, merchandising, or whatever else. If I did, then why would I be writing a fanfiction based on it?

**Author's Note:** Tenchi and Ryoko are probably my favorite couple within the realm of anime and manga. The two are absolutely adorable together, and their combined behavior is fascinating. I am unable to resist smiling whenever Ryoko vivaciously flirts with her exasperated Tenchi, nor am I unable to laugh whenever Tenchi must assume the task of mitigating Ryoko's erratic, passionate behavior. Fanfiction has unified the two many times, and I have spent many hours enjoying the exploits of the couple when written by talented authors. However, I gradually became tired of TR tales, though this is nobody's fault but my own. I had simply read too many of the TR stories, thus exhasuting all the plots, characters, motifs, etc. Everything started to seem old to me, so I read other types of fanfiction for awhile. However, the force of Ryoko and Tenchi eventually pulled me back in. I eventually decided that I should contribute a TR yarn of my own, yet I wanted to make mine unusual and memorable all at the same time. Hopefully, I have done so with "Hell Hath No Fury". The theme of love is within it, but so is the concept of revenge and the latter is actually stronger than the former. I can only hope that the result of all my work is a TR story that is both refreshing and entertaining.

HELL HATH NO FURY

CHAPTER I: THE SICK BOY

"Lord Tenchi, are you sure you're not feeling up to traveling to Jurai with us?" Akaeka asked as she walked alongside Tenchi and Sasami to a special Jurian ship ready to transport the two princesses. "You know you're always welcome on Jurai if you choose to come visit."

"Thank you Miss Akaeka, but I'm don't think I'd be much fun to be around in my current condition." Tenchi said with a grateful smile. "But believe me, if it wasn't for this darn flu I'd definitely tag along with you two."

"Ah, but Tenchi, Jurai will be no fun without you!" Sasami said with a pout.

"I'm sure you two will have a blast." Tenchi said to Sasami with a reassuring smile, despite suffering a horrible headache at that exact moment. "And besides, this senatorial summit of yours is a very important occasion. It'd be improper if you two didn't attend."

"Well, I suppose so…" Ayeaka said uncertainly. "But it wouldn't be so bad if we weren't leaving you with… with _her!" _At this, she shot a look of resentment back at the Masaki house, and Tenchi immediately knew who she was speaking of.

"Miss Ayeaka, you have absolutely nothing to worry about." Tenchi said, still with that cheerful smile on his face. "Dad, Grandpa, Washu, Mihoshi, Kiyone and Ryo-Oki will all be here, so there's no chance of Ryoko trying to take advantage of me."

Tenchi did not like lying to anyone in his family, but this time he had to make an exception to the rule. The truth was, all but one of these people would be absent from the Masaki household while Tenchi was recovering from his flu and Ayeaka and Sasami were at Jurai for the week. Noboyuki would be in Tokyo, attending the Porno Convention, which he claimed was business purposes only. Grandpa would also be in Tokyo, visiting an old friend of his and staying at his place. Mihoshi and Kiyone were still on duty, and would not be around for the next month or two. Sure, Ryo-Oki would still be around the house, but Ryoko probably already bribed her with carrots to stay out of the way.

Being alone with Ryoko while weakened to the extent he was frightened Tenchi, but being stuck with both Ayeaka and Ryoko? There'd be NO way he could heal while the two blew up the house daily with their arguments. He'd much rather prefer to be cornered by a horny Ryoko than to stare at a bill for house repairs, while sneezing out wads of mucus.

A ramp extended from the ship and it's door opened. Tenchi led both Ayeaka and Sasami to it, hoping to Kami that nothing would occur now that would prevent them from leaving.

"Lord Tenchi" Ayeaka said as she stepped onto the ramp. "If anything should happen here, anything at all, you'll let us know, won't you?"

I _sincerely doubt it. _Tenchi thought._ Now please go, now, before __she__ appears!_

"Sure I will, Miss Ayeaka." Tenchi said. "Although I really doubt that anything of significance will happen around here. I'll probably just lounge around, and wait for this flu of mine to pass."

_Yes, now please leave. Go. Hurry!_Tenchi thought nervously. The sooner these two were gone, the faster he could get back to resting and not worrying about the house standing.

"Well, all right then." Ayeaka said, both still looking uncertain. "We'll see you in about a week then."

"Bye Tenchi!" Sasami said as she walked up the ramp and into the open door. "Hope you're better when we get back!"

"Same here Sasami! Have fun!" Tenchi said. _Leave! Please!_

Ayeaka continued walking up the ramp, but stopped at look at him, still with an expression of worry. Then she turned her gaze to the house, holding it for a few seconds. Without a word she turned back round and entered the ship.

It took only around fifteen seconds for the ship to take off and leave, and once it was out of sight, Tenchi released a large sigh of relief. It felt like a huge weight had been taken off his shoulder, and it pleased him immensely to know that he had a much better chance of recuperating now.

Still, there was Ryoko…but she wouldn't take advantage of him in his condition, would she?

Would she?

_Nah._Tenchi thought dismissively to himself. _Ryokomay be… well, assertive, but she wouldn't stoop that low. I know she wouldn't._

With this confident thought in mind, Tenchi began the walk back to his home, looking forward to some much needed rest. Along the way though, he could not rid himself of the fear and doubt that remained at the back of his brain.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

The moment Tenchi entered his room, he fell stomach first onto his bed and did not move for the next few seconds. Truth be told, he felt terrible. His head was pounding, his throat was raw, his nose was runny yet dry, and nearly all the bones in his body ached.

_How did this happen?_Tenchi thought miserably. _I'm in good shape. I eat right. I barely ever get sick. So why is this fever so bad?_

Tenchigroaned. He had no answers to his questions, and didn't expect to receive any. All he knew was that he was very, very sick, and the more rest he received, the better. Knowing this, Tenchi lifted himself up (much to the complaint of his sore body), and undressed himself to his boxers. There was a chance that Ryoko might see him like this, but screw it, he really didn't care at the moment. He just wanted to sleep and escape this agony.

Finished, Tenchi walked over to his window and drew the shades, tightening them until barely any sunshine penetrated his room. Then he crawled into bed, drew the covers over himself and prepared for a long deserved rest.

"Ohhhhh, Tenchiiii…"

_Please God, not now._

He knew who that voice belonged to. There was no mistaking it, with that mixture of devotion and lust hanging off of every word. She was here, and now his chances of sleep were threatened unless he acted, and fast.

_What to do, what to do, what to do! _Tenchi thought frantically. _Wait! Fall asleep! She won't do jack if she thinks you're not awake!_

Tenchi relaxed his closed eyelids, and turned over in his "sleep", away from his intruder, while making some fake mumbling sounds.

"Oh, you're asleep, are you?" The same voice said, but now much more mischievous. "That's good. That means you won't be embarrassed while I… examine your condition."

Tenchi didn't see her smile, but he didn't need to. He could _feel _it. He could feel how sly it was, how dangerous, and how much it offered him. Tenchi knew her and her emotions to be of an extreme variety; when she was happy she was _happy_, but when she angry then the Earth was in danger of being destroyed. As much as Tenchi admired her, he also feared her, especially when she was like this, obsessed and sultry.

In truth, Tenchi was very attracted to her, and did not mind when she came on to him. If it had just been the two of them all the time, he would have welcomed her flirting and teasing, and probably would have done some himself. But with everyone else around, and chaos sure to fly if she became too close to Tenchi, he had always tried to defuse the situations, always with the fear of complete loss of control from everyone involved. Sadly, that same fear stuck with him, even when alone with her. This occasion was no exception.

"Wait! Wait! Stop!" Tenchi shouted, springing up from his position. "I'm awake! I'm awake!"

Tenchi crawled frantically over to his lamp, and switched it on. There Ryoko stood, a satisfied smirk etched across her face, with her arms folded over one another. It was obvious now that she knew he was asleep all along, but teased him for the fun involved. Tenchi knew that Ryoko wanted him, but also knew that she didn't mind embarrassing the hell out of him along the way.

Tenchi was ready to play his role in the usual game: he would kindly ask Ryoko to leave, yet she would turn the request around, insinuating that he wanted some "alone time" with her.

"Aww, is my poor Tenchi sick?" She cooed playfully while climbing onto his bed. "A little bit under the weather, huh?"

"Ryoko, please-"Tenchi started.

"Please what, Tenchi? Please leave you all by your lonesome?" Ryoko slyly said, trailing her forefinger up Tenchi's chest. "Oh Tenchi, now how could I do that? I couldn't possibly abandon you in your state!"

Ryoko gripped Tenchi's with the hand of her flirtatious forefinger, leaned in, and then whispered, "Maybe its time for the good nurse to give you her medicine."

It would be a bold lie to say that Tenchi was not tempted by this offer, as his bleeding nose (among some other actions taken without his consent by his body) confessed his eagerness. However, the sensation of feeling another unwelcome substance dripping down his nose forced him back into reality. With a regretful sigh, he gently pushed Ryoko back.

"Ryoko" He said wearily. "Look at me. Would you really want to do it like this?" Ryoko re-examined him. His skin was pale, his eyes were bloodshot, and there were dark bags under his eyes. The blood dripping from his nostril (a trait that Ryoko usually found hysterical) was also mingling with some thick, green mucus.

OK, so maybe now wasn't the best time.

Ryoko closed her eyes, and sighed dejectedly, but then opened them and smiled kindly at Tenchi. "All right then, my Tenchi." She said warmly. "We'll save that for another time. In the meantime is there anything I can do for you?"

_OK, who are you, and what have you done to Ryoko? _Tenchi thought, a bit taken aback. Sure, Ryoko was often willing to help Tenchiin any way she could, but she usually did so with the implication that they would both wind up in the sack afterward. This time though, there appeared to be no coyness, no lust, and no ulterior motive. Instead, there was… maturity.

"What are you after, Ryoko?" Tenchi asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

"What? Nothing! Nothing at all!" Ryoko exclaimed, looking stunned and waving her hands in front of her chest for emphasis. "I just want to help you is all!" Ryoko was not through, and turned her plea of innocence into a guilt trip. "Do you really think of me so badly, Tenchi?" She asked, giving him the most pitiful hound dog eyes she could muster. "After all we've been through? After all we've shared? Do you still think of me as that-"

"OK, OK, OK!" He interjected. "I believe you, alright? But there's nothing you can really do for me right now other than-" Tenchi was the one interrupted this time, and by the growl of his hungry stomach.

_Oh no. _He thought.

Neither said anything for a brief moment, and allowed the silence of the moment to seep a deep sense of anxiety into Tenchi. Ryoko then stood up from the bed, a grin of promising mischief etched across her face. "Hungry, are we?" She purred.

"Ryoko…no…I'm not-" Ryoko left Tenchi in midsentence, phasing herself through the floor. Down below, Tenchi could hear her rustling in the kitchen, and the clangs of pots and pans as she scurried about.

The boy was in a panic. Tenchi truly appreciated the fact that Ryoko was attempting to comfort him, yet he also knew that her cooking was the equivalent of biochemical warfare. The first time she had tried to cook, the unlucky consumers of her meal became delusional and convinced that goats were chewing off their skin. The second time was no better, for Ryoko's pancakes had somehow mutated into a living organism that screeched wildly until finally put out of its misery by its creator's energy sword. Her third and last attempt at the culinary arts resulted in the EPA evacuating everyone within a 50 mile radius of the house.

So yes, obviously Tenchi was not looking forward to his upcoming lunch. Just as he was wondering whether he could leap out of his window without breaking both legs, Ryoko abruptly phased back through the floor, armed with a plate of what appeared to be omelets. "Lunch is ready!" She happily chirped as she shoved the plate in front of him.

Tenchi shifted his eyes from the surprisingly normal looking omelets to the proud and beaming face of the cook. His eyes went back to the omelets that still looked normal, and then glanced once more at the face that was still proud and that was still beaming. The third time of changing his eye view resulted in seeing the same ordinary eggs, but now also seeing the increasingly agitated look of the impatient nurse.

_OK, let's review the consequences of both choices here. _Tenchi thought to himself _If I eat this food, I may die a horrible and excruciatingly slow death._

_Of course, Ryokocould keep me alive and torture me until she decides when to kill me._

Logic not so calmly in mind, Tenchi took a pair of chopsticks from the plate, lifted a morsel of egg with them, and placed it into his mouth. Ryoko smiled wildly in suspense, and Tenchi chewed while dread crawled under his skin. But instead of tasting the acrid flavors of undercooked yolk and burnt egg white, it tasted… it tasted good!

"Oh my God, Ryoko!" Tenchi said, now beginning to shovel the food into his mouth. "This is great!"

"It is?! You mean it?!" Ryoko asked exuberantly.

"I do! This is delicious!" Tenchi said, barely stifling a moan as the intoxicating taste of cheese and mushroom pleasured his tongue.

Ryoko could barely contain her euphoria, and her grin stretched to it's limits as Tenchi continued to scarf his gourmet meal. When he had finished, he set the plate on his bedside, and then leaned back into his bed smiling contentedly.

"Thank you, Ryoko." He said kindly and sincerely. "That was wonderful. I'm sure it'll go a long way in helping me recover."

If Tenchi's hearing was better, he would have been able to detect the sound of Ryoko's heart beating wildly in sheer bliss. The former space pirate may have trekked the entire known universe, and may have stolen many priceless treasures, but it was this simple sign of gratitude from her beloved that she cherished above all.

"Is there anything else you'd like, Tenchi?" she asked excitedly, hoping to continue this fortunate streak of luck.

"Oh no, that's fine, Ryoko. You've already--"

"Looks like your pillow could use some fluffing!" Ryoko declared over Tenchi's polite dismissal. Before the sick boy could protest, she grabbed him from his back, and propped him up. She then took his pillow, thumped it accordingly, placed it in it's original location, and lightly pushed Tenchi back.

"Better?" she asked enthusiastically.

"Uh…yeah. Thanks." Tenchi said. He could not deny that it was now more comfortable, but was starting to become uneasy with is friend's servitude. Ryoko's intentions were flattering, but he knew that she had a tendency to become "excited", and this "excitement" usually led to severe property damage. Aside from that little dilemma, he was not used to such assistance, and did not want to burden her with requests and favors.

"Is there anything else I can get for you?" she asked, almost pleading.

_Then again_Tenchi thought to himself_I guess it wouldn't hurt Ryoko to do a few things for me. I am sick after all…_

"As a matter of fact, there is. Do you think you could please bring me some tea?" Tenchi asked.

"You got it!" Ryoko said, and she phased through the floor before Tenchi could say anything else.

Tenchi stretched a bit in her absence, and decided to ignore the guilt attempting to wrap around his heart. _Don't beat yourself up, Tenchi _he thought. _You deserve some R and R. Besides, its not like you're going to run her ragged._


	2. Chapter II: The Sick, Fastidious Boy

**NOTICE**: I own nothing! Nothing! (Sobs)

HELL HATH NO FURY

CHAPTER II: THE SICK, FASTIDIOUS BOY

Ryoko got up from her knees, and stretched out her back, gasping slightly as she heard some bones crack. She had not seen her face in a mirror for awhile, but knew how she must have looked: exhausted, miserable and hopeless. For days now, she had been doing nothing but all of Tenchi's chores, and catering to his every whim. This was fine, at first; Tenchi requests were reasonable, and he was very grateful for having them fulfilled. Seeing her love smile in gratitude was worth the effort Ryoko spent trying to please him.

But then somewhere around the line, things started to change. Tenchi's requests became demands, and they went from being reasonable to absurd. He no longer even showed Ryoko any gratitude, but instead seemed to regard himself as deserving of all that he was receiving.

Ryoko kept working, thinking that Tenchi's illness must have caused a temporary change in his otherwise kind and thoughtful personality. She vacuumed, dusted, mopped, swept, cooked, raked, and shoveled without complaint, but still Tenchi remained the same. She tried her best to satisfy him, yet he never was.

Everyone who knew Ryoko and Tenchi also knew that she was madly in love with him, and that she would do anything for him. The same was true now, but this did not mean that Ryoko was someone who could be pushed around. She was still that proud, stubborn and flamboyant space pirate from so many years ago, and she still possessed her notorious temper. As much as she cherished Tenchi with all her heart, she was still beginning to become more than a little upset with him. Ryoko did not know how much more of this toil and ingratitude she could endure, but she knew that eventually she would refuse to bear it any longer. The only question was whether or not the house would be standing following her rampage…

"**RYOKO!"**

Ryoko could feel her heart stop, feel her breath lie still, and feel everything inside her body stop working. That was Tenchi's voice all right, but this time it was a scream, a cry for help usually uttered by one undergoing an indescribable torture. Ryoko could not recall Tenchi having ever screamed like this, and she knew that she never wanted to either.

Without hesitation, Ryoko phased through the walls frantically in order to enter Tenchi's bedroom. Although the trip took only a few moments due to her speed, her head raced with thoughts for which Ryoko swore was an eternity. None of them optimistic nor comforting. All of them were worst case scenarios: Tenchi being murdered, Tenchi being strangled, Tenchi being stabbed repeatedly in his stomach…Ryoko's heart was now beating so fast that she believed that it would burst at any moment. This did not concern her though; Tenchi was her priority, a priority she would surrender her life for if she must.

_Kami, please let him be all right,_ Ryoko prayed. _Take me if you want, but please, not him!_

Ryoko phased into Tenchi's room, her sword already formed in her hand. Her eyes were wide and wild, and she shook her head in a panic to see what exactly was wrong.

"Oh good, you're here." Tenchi said, lying in his bed with an emotionless expression on his face. He was in no trouble. He had hollered long enough to wake the dead, but it was apparent that he was perfectly fine. He still had on his pajamas (which Ryoko washed), was still lying on some pillows (which Ryoko fluffed), and still had his cup of tea on his night stand (which Ryoko made).

"I need some more toast." Tenchi said, holding his empty plate unceremoniously to Ryoko.

There had not been many times in Ryoko's life where she was speechless. She always had a retort ready for any insult, a defense for every accusation, and a come-on for every time her Tenchi was visibly nervous. This time however, Ryoko came up blank. She wasn't even sure how to feel at that moment. The only thing that could feel was shock, one that surrounded and engulfed her, that took her world and set it upside down.

The shock, as powerful as it was, quickly gave way to anger. Ryoko being upset with Tenchi was a rare occurrence, and it was almost always mild. However, this time she was irate, and she possessed a fury not even her worst enemies had been subjected to. The memories of the good times with the love of her life faded, and in their place appeared the image of this whiny, sniveling, unthankful little _bastard_. All throughout this, Ryoko ignored the fact that she was grinding her teeth against each other, and that her eye had begun to violently twitch.

Tenchi, for his part, underwent a rapid transformation. At first he had been wondering why it was taking Ryoko so long to simply go downstairs, make some toast, and then bring it back up to him. He was about to suggest to her that she hop to it too, but then noticed how a crimson aura began to outline Ryoko's body. With a growing terror that soon threatened to overwhelm him, he watched the beautiful woman before him transform into a terrible monster. She suddenly looked so much larger and taller, and Tenchi could almost swear that he flames of Hell erupt from behind her.

Ryoko stormed over to Tenchi, and grabbed him by his collar with one hand. At first, Tenchi thought Ryoko was going to kiss him (which would have been far more preferable than watching her explode), but that turned out to be a false hope. Instead, she roughly drew him forward, brought his face very close to hers, and stared at him with glare that could have scared off Satan himself. Tenchi stared into her eyes, and did his best not to lose his bladder control. Her eyes were beyond furious; they were almost entering into a state of enraged insanity. They burned like hot coals aflame, and they ran deep like a lake of fire. What truly disconcerted Tenchi, though, was that he saw himself and his petrified look in her eyes, making it look as if he was drowning in the flames.

"Are you telling me" she hissed at him "that you screamed bloody murder just now so that I could bring you some **goddamn toast?"**

"I…I…" Tenchi stammered, unsure of what to say. In any other situation, logic would have prevailed, and he could have probably talked himself out of the whole mess. But his thoughts were jumbled as they had never been jumbled before, a Perdition of shrieking madness and panic spurred by the knowledge of inevitable destruction.

_Think, man, think! _His mind screamed _She'll do more than flay you alive if you don't get yourself out of this!_

And then just as sudden and unexpected as the woman's explosion of rage, a solution formulated itself before Tenchi. He knew it was cheap, he knew it was low, but he was willing to repent later, so long as he could tear his gaze away from what was truly female fury incarnate.

"C-Come on, Ryoko!" he said weakly. "Would you really do this to someone you love?"

Ryoko's face faltered, and then she viewed him like he was suspect. But then with a sigh that acknowledged reluctant acceptance, she loosened her tight grip on him, until he was lying back in his bed.

"No" she said softly. "No, I suppose I wouldn't".

Ryoko sat down on the edge of the bed, and stared at the floor. She said nothing during this time, and would look nowhere else. She looked to be deep in thought, and paid attention to nothing else, including Tenchi. The latter now not only felt guilty for taking of his friend, but also increasingly uncomfortable with her current behavior. It was, after all, usually not a good thing when one did not know the temperament of someone like Ryoko.

"Ryoko?" he said, cautiously creeping forward a little. "Ryoko, are you alright? I'm really sorry about all that…"

Ryoko still said nothing, and she still gazed only at the floor.

The suspense was killing Tenchi. To have her whirl around, pounce upon him, and tear him limb from him would be terrible, but Tenchi would have preferred that to this torture. To not know what laid in store for him was maddening, and he could scarcely breathe now, for fear that too rash an action would set off another explosion.

"Are you angry?" he asked in a small voice, which he then immediately regretted.

"No" she replied with another sigh, causing Tenchi to flinch. She turned her head, and looked at him with a sad smile devoid of any humor. "No, I'm not angry. And don't apologize, Tenchi. I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have treated you like that."

Tenchi was now so ashamed that the constraints of mortal terror released him, and he became once more concerned solely for Ryoko. "Don't say that, Ryoko." he protested. "You have every right to be upset."

Ryoko shook her head. "Maybe so." she said. "But I shouldn't have done all that to you."

"But-"

"No buts, Tenchi." She said, rising from the bed and standing up. "Say, how about we forget about all this, and pretend it never happened?"

"Um…OK." Tenchi consented, knowing this compromise was vastly preferable to death. "But I would still like to do something for you to make this all up."

Ryoko considered this for a moment. "Then, lets just say" she said at last "that you owe me, my Tenchi."

Katsuhito was the first to arrive home, and he did so with his customary lack of clamor. Tenchi first realized that Katsuhito had returned when the old man woke him up at six in the morning and told him to pull the weeds. Within a short period of time, Katsuhito resumed his practice of calmly drinking tea while his grandson sweated profusely under the hot sun as he labored.

When Nobuyuki returned, he did so with a faint but visible red handprint on his face. "This crazy woman slapped me three days ago" He explained, sounding outraged "and now she has the nerve to sue me!"

"Why is she suing you, Dad?" Tenchi asked.

"She says I grabbed her ass at the convention." Nobuyuki replied.

Tenchi stared at his father with a look of expectation.

"I didn't!" His father protested angrily.

"All right, Dad." Tenchi relented, yet retaining his suspicions.

Both Kiyone and Mihoshi emerged from the depths of space, and back into the familiar setting of the Masaki household. Nobody was surprised to see Kiyone screaming furiously at Mihoshi when they walked in, nor were they shocked to see Mihoshi bawling with rivers of tears erupting from the corners of her blue eyes. The terms "property damage", "internal investigation", and "alleged homosexuality" were used but the outside parties did not know precisely what the officers were arguing over. Tenchi said it was probably for the best.

Washu returned to the house for only a short while. Citing hunger as her reason for leaving her cavernous lab, the miniature scientist seductively offered Tenchi the chance to be her "guinea pig" as she had many times before. Ryoko threw an iron pan at Washu's face, and the galaxy's greatest genius retreated to her quarters soon thereafter.

And so now nearly every member of the Masaki household was present. The arguments and violence continued, and Tenchi was once more flabbergasted. However, unlike before, he now found himself stealing glances at Ryoko for what reasons he did not completely understand. Perhaps it was because Ryoko's chief rival was absent, but amidst the current of stress and action in his regular life, the former space pirate seemed to embody the peace that he desired. On one occasion, she caught him staring at her during dinner. Though Washu and Kiyone were loudly screaming at Mihoshi for again destroying the lab, and the dim-witted blonde officer was crying in shame, Ryoko merely smiled back at Tenchi. Tenchi realized that Ryoko could have easily escalated the conflict

with a pronouncement that the young man had revealed his love for her; instead, she deliberately spared Tenchi further embarrassment and strife. Tenchi thought the decision to be mature and for that he was grateful.

_I am not sure why _Tenchi thought _but something tells me that she will calm down things around here._

Almost everyone was back home by this point, and a fair amount of chaos occurred because of this. However, with Ayeaka and Sasami still gone, the madness was not as severe as it normally was. Tenchi had thought for a while that he would ironically miss all the daily discord. He didn't.

The two Jurian princesses were going to be home in a few days though, and Tenchi knew it was wise to enjoy the peace while it lasted. He was walking that day during the twilight, and doing not much else besides enjoying the spectacle of nature flourishing around him. He thought it strange that he thought his world to be at the peak of its beauty just before it went to sleep; there was a soft glow that covered everything like a warm blanket, and it reminded him of the tranquility that can only be brought with deep, deep sleep.

Eventually, Tenchi meandered through the woods and into his favorite place: a large hill with a wonderfully wide view of the sun. Of course, there wasn't much of a point to coming out here when the sun was still blazing in the middle of the afternoon (unless you were intentionally trying to blind yourself), but at twilight it was something magical. There was a sense of celestial divinity that Tenchi picked up on. It was a smooth blend of colors, of auburn and cinder and all the other colors of a fire just before it goes out. The sun, as titanic as it was, was tired and was ready to sleep. Soon, even the clouds would disappear. There would eventually be nothing left except for the night creatures.

Tenchi sat down, and merely contented himself with watching the horizon for awhile. He was so absorbed in the gorgeous sight that he did not hear soft rustling noises from above him.

"Hey" A voice casually said. Somewhat startled, Tenchi looked to the direction of the voice, and saw Ryoko standing on a branch in nearby tree. She too was covered by an ethereal sheet, and she was even more beautiful because of it. Tenchi did not find this shocking although he knew he should have. Ryoko becoming more gorgeous was like chocolate becoming more delicious: both were superb as they were, yet any improvement would push them into the perfection territory. But Tenchi somehow registered all this as if a forgotten but innate expectation of his was carried out. He did not know why, but he couldn't help but think that this was the way things were meant to be, and that this was the way they were meant to be played out.

"Hey yourself" he said with a warm smile.

Ryoko phased from the branch of the tree down to Tenchi's spot. "Mind if I join you?" she asked.

"Please, by all means" he replied.

Ryoko sat down by Tenchi, and the two of them watched the setting of the sun. They did not say anything for some time, but then they really didn't need to. Everything that needed to be said was said for them by the sky. It whispered its confessions as it lied down for sleep, and it lovingly whispered as it closed its eyes. Tenchi and Ryoko both knew what the sky was doing, and they let it continue without breaking the silence. But eventually Tenchi remembered what he wanted to speak with Ryoko about, and he regretfully broke the spell of disengagement.

"Ayeaka and Sasami will be back in a couple of days." he said.

"Uh-huh" Ryoko simply said.

"You don't seem that... agitated about it."

"Yeah, well, they had to come back home sometime, didn't they? I mean, its not Sasami that I... I love the kid, you know that."

"I know."

"Ayeaka returning... not the greatest news in the world, but not the worst. I can handle the princess, Tenchi. Hell, if I do it right, I can get some fun out of it."

"Ryoko-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't taunt the angry princess and all that. Well, I deserve to have some fun when she gets to squawking."

There was another sequence of silence following this interlude. All that needed to be said had been said, at least concerning that particular matter. Tenchi knew full well what would occur the minute Ayeaka set foot back on Japanese soil: she would see Ryoko, Ryoko would see her, and the never ending battle between the two insane women would resume. Tenchi would try to assuage the tension that boiled their animosity, and he would continually fail. Life as he knew it would continue. This was the way of the world, or rather his world.

Except he had found something new while living out the mediocre (what he considered to be mediocre anyway). He had found it in Ryoko, and in the shocking fury that she had directed towards him. Could he blame her? No, of course not. He deserved to get chewed out, plain and simple. Yet he never did think that Ryoko could act that way with him. He had believed that because she adored him, there would be a line that she would not and could not cross. If there was a line though, then she had kicked it aside on that revelatory day.

The memory of his dirty tactic still weighed heavily on his mind. He tried to assuage some of his guilt, but in the midst of all of his persuasions, he knew that he was just fooling himself. The fact of the matter was that he had sunk to a new low, and it was something that he was probably going to regret for a very long time. Ryoko didn't seem all that bothered about it, yet Tenchi suspected that she was disappointed in him and that was even worse. All he wanted to do was go back to those simpler times where he would blush furiously after Ryoko whispered provocative offers into his ears, or how blood would gush out of his nose in rivers whenever Ryoko exposed her divine body to him in the onsen. Something told him that his life wouldn't regress back to these wonderful moments, and he could feel a dull panic creep over his heart and his lungs. Not wanting to ruin the moment, but still dissatisfied with the loose ends of his predicament, he brought his case forward to his best friend.

"This may sound old, Ryoko" Tenchi said "but again, I am so, so-"

"No, Tenchi." Ryoko interrupted him softly and in a bemused tone. "You've apologized before, and I've forgiven you. I'm not angry anymore, and what you did wasn't the end of the world. Its all over as far as I'm concerned."

"Yeah, but I-"

"Over, Tenchi."

Tenchi did not respond. To do that meant to push more of Ryoko's buttons, and he had no inclination of charting that unexplored water. Still, there was more thing that he had to get out there; one anchor had to be cast in their colloquial sea before he was fully satisfied. He thought it was worth rolling the dice for, and he convinced himself that this reply would not cause Ryoko to snap his neck.

"I do owe you though." He said sternly. "No matter what you say, I will make this all up to you."

Ryoko chuckled at this, and then seemed to mull it over. "I'll concede to that." She said. "But what will I have you do, I wonder?" She added, purring seductively.

Tenchi blushed and became rigid, and Ryoko laughed voraciously. Eventually, he relaxed and began to laugh softly with her. Then Tenchi remembered what else was on his mind, and he spoke again.

"I'd... I'd like to do this again sometime." He said shyly but staring straight at Ryoko. "Only next time, I won't be such a prick."

Ryoko considered this. "You cook, and you got yourself a deal."

"Deal." He said. Then he smiled at her, and she smiled at him. They looked back to the setting sun, and nothing more needed to be said.


	3. Chapter III: Best Served Cold

**NOTICE**: I still don't own Tenchi Muyo! However, that will soon change! (Cue evil laugh and striking of lightning)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: This is the final chapter, everyone! Thanks for reading!

HELL HATH NO FURY

CHAPTER III: BEST SERVED COLD

It would only be less than a day before Ayeaka and Sasami returned home, and Tenchi felt ready enough to receive them. Though dreading the conflicts that would almost certainly erupt as soon as the Jurain Princess' laid eyes on her friend/nemesis, Tenchi was certain that Ryoko's newfound maturity would help decrease the severity of such quarrels. He felt more optimistic than pessimistic at this time, resulting in a carefree state of mind that he had been experiencing for the past few days. Though Ryoko acted like her old, typical self in front of the others, she was genuinely warm with Tenchi, causing the young man to believe that he and only he had managed to penetrate her tough exterior, and expose the true nature of her soul.

Tenchi hummed cheerfully as he walked through the woods leading to his house. Nature reflected his demeanor that day: the trees were of a fresh and vibrant green, the sky was an endless sea of hypnotic blue, and the birds serenaded one another with their songs and tidings of good will. If there were any catastrophes on Earth, if there were any disasters teeming with human malice and animosity, then they did not enter the mind of Tenchi. He was there, no chaos was present, the tone of his surroundings complemented his mood, and that was all that was important. Tenchi was concerned solely with the here and the now; he could worry and fret all he wanted later. For now, he wanted to enjoy the serenity while it lasted, which would most likely not be very long.

Tenchi appeared before the house, and entered it. Upon entry, a feeling of inexplicable but intangible anxiety overcame him, and he stepped into the house without closing the door. The house was very dark, as all the blinds had been drawn, and all the lights had been turned off. There was no sound; a pin drop from miles away could have made a thunderous sound if it were to fall. It did not take long for Tenchi to sense that something was not quite right, nor could he deny that this silent, dim house realized the sensation of wading through a swamp of black ink, the landscape of a madman's unpredictable psyche. Tenchi was one of the Earth's greatest warriors, but he was still partially human, and this scenario reminded him all too much of those "Ju-On" movies Ryoko had forced him to watch.

A creek sounded, Tenchi's heart leapt into his throat, and he whirled around, sure that some unspeakable horror had emerged to rip off his head and devour his brains!

But there was no such monstrosity before Tenchi. There was only Ryoko, standing behind the door, and pushing itself away from herself. However, while it was only her, her appearance was rather puzzling. True, she was clad in a tank top and an ordinary pair of jeans, but she was also smoking a cigarette, something Tenchi had never seen her do before. Ryoko was stoic, and no emotion could be read from her. Her eyes were glazed over, but were still one of the few sources of color that could be seen from the mask of shadow. The meek amount of sunshine penetrating the blinds detailed the red ash of the cigarette, and Ryoko's own outline, but not much more beyond that.

"Ryoko?" Tenchi asked nervously. "What…what are you doing? Where is everyone?"

Ryoko took a drag of her cigarette, and the inflaming of the tobacco lighted her absent eyes. "Everyone is out." She said in monotone, devoid of the very emotions she did not show on her face. "They've all gone to the movie theatre, and I told them that we would meet them there soon. But you're going to fall, and I will be so concerned about your injury that I will selflessly stay behind and take care of you."

"What are you talking about, Ryoko?" Tenchi asked, confused over her intentions and not liking them one bit.

Ryoko did not answer, but instead inhaled her cigarette deeply for one last time. She then carelessly flicked it away to the floor, and grinded it with her foot.

"Its time for you to pay your debt, Tenchi dear." She said.

She approached Tenchi, and the young man could swear, though inexplicably, that she seemed to become even taller than usual as she stepped forth. And though the eyes were muddled and lacking sharpness, there was still a hunger underneath, frustrated, impatient, wrathful. Tenchi wanted to look away but could not; she held complete control over his gaze, and commanded him to stare into his means of subjugation.

"Ryoko, what are you… Ryoko! Get your hands off of my shirt! Don't take it off! What do you… no, not my pants! Give them back! Ryoko! Stop that! Let go of my boxers! I… oh. Oh no. Ryoko! Don't! Don't you dare! Stay away, Ryoko! I mean it! I'm warning you! Ryoko! Ryoko! **RYOKO!**"

**HQ OF "KIRA" TASK UNIT, JAPAN**

"C'mon, Light!" Misa Amane whined incessantly to her boyfriend, Light Yagami. She, Light, and L were all in the computer room; the two young detectives, still chained to one another, had the displeasure of Misa continually interrupting their work. "Misa-Misa is bored! And you promised that you would take Misa out!"

L sat in his chair placidly and typed on his keyboard, apparently not unnerved by Misa's commotion. Light, on the other hand, was quickly losing his patience. He was frustrated over a lack of clues leading to Kira, the tension with L was becoming difficult to endure, and Misa just wouldn't leave him the hell alone! He had done his best to ignore his dim-witted girlfriend, but sensed that he would crack very soon if her begging continued.

"Misa" he said as calmly as he could. His back was to her, so she didn't see his eye twitch nor his hands shake "now is not a good time. We still have no idea where Kira is, or what he's plotting. As soon as we get some semblance of what he's up to, then I'll take you out."

"But, Light!" Misa complained. "That's what you always say! You always tell Misa to wait, and that we'll go out later! But that never happens! How much longer does Misa-Misa need to wait?!"

Light could bear no more. Abruptly, he stood up from his chair, and whirled around to face Misa.

"You listen to me, you ignorant little bit--" he started to say. A scream from somewhere in the country (_How do I know that?_ he thought) pierced through his mind, and interrupted the rebuke. The scream hit L too, and both detectives collapsed, L onto his console and Light onto his hands and knees. Whatever the sound was, it had knocked them down like a ton of bricks.

Light looked up at Misa confused and hurt, but what he saw was something that transcended reality, imagination, and his own worst fears. That brief moment somehow seemed to be a hellish eternity for Light. But then the flames died down, and the moans of the damned ceased. There again stood Misa, appearing quite confounded and worried.

"Honey?" She asked carefully. "Light, what's wrong? Are you OK?" She reached out to Light as she asked this.

Light gasped, and drew hastily back, choking on his own revulsion and terror. In a moment though, his brilliant mind convinced him to try to appease the beast.

"M-Misa!" He stammered, attempting to smile kindly. "Um… h-how about if we g-go to the movies?!"

"The movies?!" Misa cried out in delight. It seemed that she had completely forgotten about Light's very recent unusual behavior with those few words. "Misa would love to!"

"W-wait!" L cried. He had too witnessed the horrible apparition, and was shaking from head to toe. He dug into a drawer, and quickly produced a small hand-saw. He then held it out tremblingly to Misa, and said "By all means, you two go enjoy yourselves! No need for a fifth wheel, right?! Please, cut off my hand!"

**HELLSING HQ, LONDON, ENGLAND**

Victoria Seras stood out in the open fields behind the Hellsing building, and practiced her shooting. She was using a standard pistol, and the targets were ordinary household items: damaged buckets, empty bottles, decrepit beyond repair, and so forth. They were spread out in the woods far too much for humans, and Seras would have had some trouble seeing it too if she was practicing during the day. But it was night, and this was the time when her eyesight should have been at it's greatest. And it would have been at it's peak too, if only she had drank the packet of blood left for her in her room.

However, like most of the time, Seras refused to even touch her food, even while knowing that the blood came from donors, and that it was necessary for a vampire's nutrition. But still, the human inside of her was revolted by the delicious substance, and so she persisted in not letting a single drop enter her hungry stomach.

The effects of this decision were obvious. She was slower than she should have been, weaker than she should have been, and less skilled than she should have been. It was these reductions in combat qualities that nearly caused her to fail her mission the night before. She and her comrades were ordered to invade a factory where freaks were reportedly dwelling, and then to exterminate them. In the ensuing chaos between the two battalions, Seras' decreased agility almost caused her to be shot with silver by an enemy combatant. Yet the ghoul was blasted away just in time by one of her teammates, and Seras knew she would only act as a liability if she continued her duties. She obtained the permission of her nearest superior to retreat, and then spent the rest of the night in the unit's van, tears of shame falling down her angelic face. Alucard was not beside her, but she could hear his cruel, taunting laughter anyway.

When she awoke at the next day's twilight, she was still plenty upset over the events of the night before, so she decided to burn some stress. She had tried to drink her packet of luscious blood, but her urge to retain some semblance of humanity prevailed. Therefore, she left her room hungry and frustrated.

With these pernicious memories fully intact in her consciousness, Seras lifted her pistol, prepared to ease her tension.

"Good evening, police girl." A familiar and cruel voice purred. Seras sighed in exasperation as her master Alucard materialized behind her. She loved her master more than she would admit, but he was the one person she did not want to see right now. She sought his approval more than anyone's; most of the time though, he laughed sadistically at her failures. That always stung, but it was always his occasional looks of disappointment and regret that truly broke her heart. Tonight, he would undoubtedly mock her, lecture her to drink her blood, and then disappear for the rest of the evening. Seras could not handle that.

"Master" she said, not bothering to turn around and face him "please spare me the lecture. Or at least not tonight. I know what I did wrong. It won't happen again."

"I see." Alucard said amused. "Does that mean you're going to start drinking blood again? Hmm?"

Seras did not answer him. Alucard already knew her unspoken reply, and exaggeratingly sighed in mock exasperation. Seras stiffened, and clenched her trembling fists to suppress her awakening anger.

"Oh, police girl" he said condescendingly. "you know as well as I do that you need to drink your blood, otherwise you'll become weaker than you already are. A performance like the one you put on last night is a disgrace not just to you, but to all--"

"Master!" Seras shouted as she turned to meet Alucard. **"SHUT UP!"**

Seras refuting Alucard was rare, but the incongruous nosferatu was prepared to laugh off his servant's outburst with his menacing shark grin. However, at that very moment, a strange scream rang through his head, and Seras was immediately removed from his sight. In her place was nightmare incarnate, a monster that defied the laws of science and physics. Alucard was a "Grade A" vampire, could turn into bats, rats, and mist, and he could regenerate himself. He could even mutate his own body into a sprawling monstrosity that terrified the most courageous of men. But this… this was what Alucard admitted to be a monstrosity that should never have existed. The horrid animal held him in a trance, and strong as he was, he could not resist it. All he could do was stand there dumbly while gaping stupefied with horror at the beast before him.

"Master?" Seras said, suddenly replacing the monster, and snapping her fingers in front of his startled face. She was genuinely concerned, but was aware of the possibility of her master attempting to trick her. "Master? Snap out of it!"

Alucard awoke from his trance, and stared horrified at Seras. His disciple knew something was terribly wrong, since Alucard rarely, if ever, looked so shaken up. He was a horrendous demon; to have something even intimidate him was unheard of.

"Uh…" Alucard said, at a loss of words. He then quickly pronounced, "Excuseme,Ihavetogodosomething!" and vanished into the night, leaving a stupefied Seras behind.

**WOODCREST, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA**

"Stop saying that, Huey!" Jazmine Du Bois yelled at Huey Freeman. She, Huey, and Riley Freeman were all waiting for the school bus at their usual location, and Jazmine had hoped that her neighbor would decided not to demean her wild, unrestrained hair that morning. Unfortunately, the young radical socialist had no intentions of curtailing his tormenting that day, and he started them anew only moments after arriving at the bus stop. Jazmine had tried ignoring Huey's comments like her father instructed her to, but she could no longer endure being compared to Foxy Brown. "I don't have an afro! I don't, I don't, I don't!"

"You're right, Jazmine." Huey said in monotone with his regularly unfeeling eyes and demeanor. "You don't have an afro. Your hair is just frizzy, like Kareem Abdul Jabbar."

"It is not! Stop it!" The poor little girl screeched. She looked to Riley for any support that he could give, yet found none. The ear plugs of an iPod were inserted into the small thug's ears, and "Gangsta Nation" was blaring so loudly that even Jazmine could discern what was being rapped. She turned back to Huey, aware that Riley would also probably prefer watching her suffer than coming to her aid. "Leave me alone, Huey! I don't have an afro!"

"Why do you keep pointlessly raving at me, Jazmine?" Huey mockingly asked. His face was stoic, yet he was finding it increasingly difficult not to grin in cruel delight. "I'm agreeing with you. You don't have an afro just like Bob Ross."

"Stop!" Jazmine shouted, nearly hysterical and close to tears. "Just stop it!"

"Stop what?" Huey persisted. "Stop saying that compared to you, Angela Davis had the hair of a European--"

"**HUEY**" She bellowed in a voice that did not belong to her. "**STOP IT!**"

The street corner ceased to be. Instead of concrete and gravel, both Huey and Riley found themselves transported to what accurately be termed as a necropolis. All that could have been seen were colors not meant for human eyes, hues and shades that were nauseating in their delirium. It reminded Huey of various acidic painting that he had studied before, and it reminded Riley of the time he had eaten bologna that was aged three years past it's expiration date.

But what they saw was not nearly as painful as what they felt. They felt like ice cold water was being dumped onto their naked bodies. They felt like the interiors of their chest was burning in a raging flame. Everything seemed to hurt from the ground that they stood on to the wind that brushed against them to the very air that they breathed.

It was agony for the boys, but it was the demon they saw that forced Riley to scream with abandon. It was the daemon that caused Huey wish that he had something to stab his eyes with. The adorable, shy little girl known as Jazmine was gone, and in her place was a walking, living embodiment of pus and disease, vomited into this world from the mouth of Hell!

Huey and Riley were still screaming when they suddenly reappeared back in Woodcrest. Then they realized that they were no longer trapped in the nine circles of Hell, and they ceased their cries. However, they regarded Jazmine with wide, frightened eyes and trembling jowls. Jazmine stared at them incredulously.

"What's with you two?!" Jazmine demanded.

Riley promptly responded by running away and screaming wildly about "crazy bitches". Huey slowly got to his feet and backed away. Then he turned and ran back home, and Jazmine was left all alone and confused.

**HOME OF THE VAMPIRE HUNTER DRAGOON, U.S.A.**

Vampire Hunter Dragoon abruptly stopped typing on his keyboard, and snapped his head upward. Usually he let nothing deter him from his writing once he actually sat down to do it, but the sound he had just heard was powerful and nerve-shredding enough to bring him out of his immersion.

He could not quite place his finger on what it was; it sounded like a man's scream, but it was unlike any howl of mortal terror that he had ever heard before. The fear in it's tenor and vocals was far too deep, too desperate. Nothing in existence should have been able to force someone to elicit such a cry.

Memories that were not Dragoon's but that of all of man's crept through his consciousness. The chasms of reality too great for man to understand; powers so diabolical and vile in nature that one would lose his mind if confronted with it. And for whatever reason, it was the presence of ragethat Dragoon sensed violating his mind, the fury of a sex scorned for generations, taken advantage of, deceived, mistreated. Their cries of outrage and promises of bloody vengeance manifested itself in one brief instance before him, a matron figure aflame with her own disgust and fury.

Dragoon rapidly shook his head to clear himself of his vision, and then tossed his nearby plastic container of coffee into the trash. There would be no more caffeine for awhile if this was what it brought.

**BACK IN RURAL JAPAN…**

The morning was average for Ryoko and Ayeaka, or at least as average as it could have been for those two. Ayeaka had noticed only one small discrepancy during breakfast: while in the midst of arguing heatedly with Ryoko, Tenchi never said a word. He did not plead Ryoko to stop referring to Ayeaka as "Tits McGee", nor did he beg the Jurian Princess to stop insulting the space pirate with terms like "whore" and "harlot". Instead, he ate his meal quietly, and the rest of the family wondered if the young man was finally pushed to his breaking point.

A temporary truce had been established, as it almost always was, between Ryoko and Ayeaka following breakfast. Their favorite soap opera would start soon, and both preferred to bask in the glamour of daytime TV than to bicker with one another. With their appetites satisfied, the women walked to the living room, settled into the couch, and turned on the television.

For fifteen minutes, neither spoke; they were far too involved in the plot of their soap, this one consisting of infidelity, murder, and hot, steamy passion. But then the commercials came on, and Ryoko announced, "I want some tea." Ayeaka looked at her strangely in response. Why was Ryoko telling her this?

Ryoko produced a small bell from her breast pocket, and then carelessly rang it. A few moments passed, and Tenchi entered the room silently with his gaze facing downwards. He did not say a word, and it appeared that he was deliberately refraining from looking Ryoko in the eyes.

"I would like some tea, Tenchi." Ryoko told him.

Tenchi received this comment with no reply. After waiting some more seconds for further instructions but receiving none, the young man turned to leave.

Ayeaka was beside herself, and a storm of questions plagued her. What was this? Why was Tenchi obeying this shameless hussy? How did Ryoko procure the power to order Ayeaka's beloved? _A little experiment may help me get to the bottom of this_ she thought to herself.

"Oh, Lord Tenchi!" Ayeaka called out sweetly. Tenchi had evidently heard her, for her stopped in his tracks after she had beckoned him. He did not turn around at first; he just stood in his spot, with his back towards the two as if her were unsure of what course of action to take. Finally, he turned around and regarded Ayeaka with inquisitive but frightened eyes.

"Lord Tenchi" Ayeaka said in a voice syrupy enough to inflict diabetes "could you also please bring me some tea as well?"

Tenchi did not answer her. Instead, he turned his gaze to Ryoko, though he would still not look at her in the eyes. Ryoko narrowed her eyes in thought, and stared up at the ceiling while doing so. To aid her in her pondering, she tapped her chin with her forefinger, and she hummed sagaciously. She was obviously taking great pains while she thought through this matter.

At long last, she reverted her gaze back to Tenchi, and said, "All right, Tenchi. You may also bring Ayeaka some tea as well."

Just like before, Tenchi waited for anymore possible instructions to be thrown his way. Upon none being issued, he turned and exited the living room as quietly as he had entered.

Ayeaka did not know what to say following Tenchi's departure, and she gaped at Ryoko in bewilderment. After some time, she croaked out, "How… how did you…?"

Ryoko smiled kindly, yet Ayeaka could sense something so maleficent behind that smile that the hairs on the back of her neck stood straight up. Ryoko winked at her, and the only thing she would say was, "Secret!".


End file.
